Thursday, June 3

finally done with shopping for the new semester. had an awesome trip to Singapore and Praise God for all the blessed time and knowledge gained during asia conference. and the shopping spree. *giggles* it's true God has different calling for everyone, throughout the four nights' sessions and workshops, the one that stirred me most was the preaching from Reinhard Bonnke on evangelism and making discipleship of all nations by Phil Pringle. i always thought revival is the toughest thing to achieve and i always wanted to wait for God to make it all happen.. because human heart is difficult to be changed.. i can't do it.. even when it does, it happens for the wrong reasons and i often get very upset caught in my own despair and disappointment. but it was a miraculous night when i saw twenty-five thousand gathered for Christ that day, i was at awe, still am, because i came to realisation that when He says, "You go and do as I say, I am with you.", He is sovereign and He is with us. and He, will make it happen. it doesn't matter if i failed in my move, the most important thing is, i made that move. and that is what He want us to do, He will do the rest. i often wait upon the Lord to show me the right time, right people, right attitude, etc. the truth is, i am not waiting for God, God is, waiting for me. T.T and my heart is crying out for one particular country during altar call for nations, i wasn't even at the front with the crowd and all, i was sitting at the top back of the hall, barely watching from the wide screen .. and there i was, weeping then shaking violently, standing feebly to the power of the Holy Spirit at the back of my seat when everybody else was praying. i thought i was having seizures and shivering from the cold, almost felt like fainting due to long hours of standing. but something very powerful is stirred deep from my heart, is aching, burning with unspeakable passion and all i could think of is CHINA, CHINA, CHINA. my scientific thoughts were nothing.. it's impossible i am crying out for a country that i have so little interest in.. it is so strong that i can't oppose with whatever explanations i can come up with and that was the kind of power i had experienced when i first slain in youth camp once, when i first received Christ. When God moves, He is unstoppable. People often question why God brings suffering to the world if He loves the world so much? in my humble opinion, because people don't see the need for Him until something bad happens.. this saddens me. God is sovereign. and there is a reason for everything to happen. i also learned that God's love is not a talking point, it is a life-issue.. to me, people can debate and prove whatever is wrong, right, real.. but it is what it is to me, God's love is for all and i accept it.

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