mirrored, probed, drilled, numbed and holed. good gum. now the tooth is gone, goodbye you one the right, the biggest, strongest, most wise of all~~ urgh, your absence left a big gap in my gum. it hurts. it's throbbing, ouch. wuwu *sulk* the dentist was gentle even though i dreaded the process. i am grateful. please please please let it heal quickly.
Thursday, June 17
Monday, June 14
Monday, June 7
i remember seeing these words in someone's blog "i am writing these words down, i need to get it outta my head" something along that line. hah! that was exactly how i felt last night, i actually made myself insomniac can you believe it! i was rather sleepy around 1 a.m. so i crawled to bed, prayed and thank the Lord before i doze off. but no, i didnt instead my mind started to wander, then ideas came flooding in..there were so many things happening in my mind that i no longer feeling sleepy but physically, i WAS. T.T ok, i can't sleep. i also can't write words that rhyme. in my mind, i was thinking that i need to tell the world i can't write words that rhyme. nooooo, i lied at the introduction to my story :( the thing is, i wrote a song. A song titled For You written 4 days ago, still a work in progress. the melodies are a little uncoordinated, it's in Key A (A F#m C#m E) for the intro. the chorus is supposed to be A, E, A, E and that's it, missy got music block :( no actually. i sort of finished composing :D but it sounded weird. ahahahahaha! and the lyrics go like this..verse 1 : This quiet night i breathe now, i breathe now, in awe.. Your precious love embrace me, embrace me, for ever.. ok i shall continue another day. *shy* : then the thoughts of sharing a guitar guide for beginners crossed my mind. a very basic one based on my experience. going to put this in a new post. i also got the idea of writing on self-esteem. and while i was still being put off sleep, my subconscious mind reminded me of another issue. it seldom bothers me until my uncle shared with me earlier that day bout his stories from his work experience and asked me to quit being nice to everybody. corporate world and it's business, it's population, a different league of love, struggles and obsessions. the world is corruptible and has been so, i am aware of it and i thank God for His protection of core values and purposes. the world has played it that way, people played along and change, i pray for wisdom to reach out to them and to stay in tuned with my core values. these were my thoughts yesterday night. from sleepiness to songwriting to guitar guide to self-esteem to business. also an off-track of jeffrey dean morgan and the likes. lol. bedtime is not sleeping time after all. Fuhhhh, speaking of letting it outta my head ! i have the responsibility to execute now. :
at 5:49 PM
Thursday, June 3
finally done with shopping for the new semester. had an awesome trip to Singapore and Praise God for all the blessed time and knowledge gained during asia conference. and the shopping spree. *giggles* it's true God has different calling for everyone, throughout the four nights' sessions and workshops, the one that stirred me most was the preaching from Reinhard Bonnke on evangelism and making discipleship of all nations by Phil Pringle. i always thought revival is the toughest thing to achieve and i always wanted to wait for God to make it all happen.. because human heart is difficult to be changed.. i can't do it.. even when it does, it happens for the wrong reasons and i often get very upset caught in my own despair and disappointment. but it was a miraculous night when i saw twenty-five thousand gathered for Christ that day, i was at awe, still am, because i came to realisation that when He says, "You go and do as I say, I am with you.", He is sovereign and He is with us. and He, will make it happen. it doesn't matter if i failed in my move, the most important thing is, i made that move. and that is what He want us to do, He will do the rest. i often wait upon the Lord to show me the right time, right people, right attitude, etc. the truth is, i am not waiting for God, God is, waiting for me. T.T and my heart is crying out for one particular country during altar call for nations, i wasn't even at the front with the crowd and all, i was sitting at the top back of the hall, barely watching from the wide screen .. and there i was, weeping then shaking violently, standing feebly to the power of the Holy Spirit at the back of my seat when everybody else was praying. i thought i was having seizures and shivering from the cold, almost felt like fainting due to long hours of standing. but something very powerful is stirred deep from my heart, is aching, burning with unspeakable passion and all i could think of is CHINA, CHINA, CHINA. my scientific thoughts were nothing.. it's impossible i am crying out for a country that i have so little interest in.. it is so strong that i can't oppose with whatever explanations i can come up with and that was the kind of power i had experienced when i first slain in youth camp once, when i first received Christ. When God moves, He is unstoppable. People often question why God brings suffering to the world if He loves the world so much? in my humble opinion, because people don't see the need for Him until something bad happens.. this saddens me. God is sovereign. and there is a reason for everything to happen. i also learned that God's love is not a talking point, it is a life-issue.. to me, people can debate and prove whatever is wrong, right, real.. but it is what it is to me, God's love is for all and i accept it.
at 3:10 PM