Thursday, July 30

red roses

blurgh.. it's been a creepy week, literally .. like spooked. what's with the haunted dreams and weird senses? lol. nonsensical mind games. prolly it's PMS again. it's always that isn't it? lol. i like red roses. you know why? hmm yes, red is bold and hot but not really my favourite colour yet red roses truly appeal to me. they are pretty as a whole i think. i like the dark red kind.. mysteriously romantic. the petals are soft and smooth.. and they have this distinct smell that i like too. nobody ever got me red roses before.. wait, puchi got me one for Valentine 2008 haha.. yeahh.. i got one for mama too when i was in standard six.. and she said i should not have wasted money on flowers. i still think she liked it though, sweet~ what about violet roses? hmm, pretty cool but i like red best. :)

Wednesday, July 29

can i talk to you for a minute ? i dont want to grow up ! i have missed the sunset walk and the car rides. is there anything i can do for you? it's pretty pretty ! i have missed your dimpled smile and the time we played counter strike together at FC. where were you? you were always there ! i have missed your wrist band and your sideburns. have you found your cake? i heard they have some at the corner street store ! i have missed us.

Monday, July 27


:) :) my guitar sifu proposed to his girlfriend and they are getting married next year~! awww! really happy for them ! :):) congrats congrats bro~!
good morning world. have a great day

Saturday, July 25

watched 'Hooked on You'. what good stuff.

Friday, July 24


another happening week. lol. it's always happening when i don't study. so much to catch up, must do my best. went to city harvest church yesterday for their drama Heroes. ji yin said their PA system's very cun, agreed. hehe. CHC also has a very cool speaker, yet inspiring. with the awesome band and supportive crowd, i had a great time there. but above all i took home an important lesson. yep. the pastor said everyone of us has a potential within us, a talent yet to be discovered, and we are a hero in our own rights. in that context, failure is nothing but failing to recognise that potential. yep. don't be afraid to lose. go Nike. just do it! yep yep. and tonight, at this moment, this hour, i want to declare something to you who are reading this. the intelligent people who managed to uncover this blog, i. have. .
lactose intolerance.
i am so sad ok. i like to drink milk you know. chocolate milk, strawberry milk, honey milk you name it. strictly cow milk with any flavors. don't know why suddenly developed intolerance.


i will not give up on milk! don't care. i am gonna end my declaration by telling you who are still reading this that i love milk! huhu. some more right, my parents bought a whole carton of dutch lady chocolate milk for me. happy but sad. that's a sign of love, so i am happy. but i can't drink all of em'. saddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
ok, that is enough.

p/s : sorry.

wait, on a second thought, could it be due to expired milk? O.O

Wednesday, July 22

okay la.
dum di dum dum.. gotta really exercise my brain today T.T urgh ! watched harry potter yesterday which was pretty exciting. love the british accent too. whoever that kid was who acted as teen tom riddle, he's pretty good. so pretty yet so evil. haha. oh.. nevertheless, heard plenty of spoilers for the next movie already lol -.- wowowowow.. i predict a good week, gonna embrace things as they come.

if you promise to do something, do it you shall. the other guy got sick to a point where he needs to see a doctor, yet not a single word of complaint, and came early, not even part of the group yet he done well for the group. and you, you fooled around with phones. pictures. singing songs. and you said you can't speak. it doesn't matter if nobody hears you, at least you do your best, go up there and do as what you have promised to. i assume i can trust you, it's wrong to assume. that screen saver totally put me off.

Tuesday, July 21

Monday, July 20

i was racing against my own heart beat. awareness sets in.

Sunday, July 19

good afternoon!
been studying abit. love how marieb describes the male reproductive system.
the epidydimis .... which hugs the external testis surface.. pampiniform plexus surrounds the testicular artery like a climbing vine.. and honeycomb mucosa of crypts and blind alleys.. lol.. she could be a good writer. hmm. got the urge to eat maggi mee again. cannot cannot! it's not good for health... T.T

Saturday, July 18

i do not write anymore. but this blog is simply inviting. haa! tonight was great, in fact the most happening night of the week. nothing great great happened, just that i went to church. hehe.. truly i find delight in attending church services but tonight was particularly interesting. i met mr.guitarman again! huhuhuhuh. he has been missing in action for about two weeks! finally got to see him again. since clarence cannot stay standing for too long, mr.guitarman took over and became the bassist today. looking charming on stage as usual, aww. hehe. many of my favourite songs were sang during praise and worship and to name a few; sanctuary, my strength and hosanna! i felt His presence really strongly this time and for the first time, it was a joyful one! :D nothing beats that. lol. i faced my first persecution few days ago, a close friend commented that i am obssessed with my religion after i turned down her invitation to go for an aniversary buffet over cell group. i smiled. it is a matter of commitment, just like how i would not skip class to go for a movie. come to think of it now, i am actually glad .. hmm.. nevermind. actually didn't feel like going to church initially cause got period cramp.. but i went. and i saw. clarence. with his stick standing in front of me. barely moving on a chair, but i know deep down inside, he is suffering in pain... he has a condition known as ankylosing spongiditis that attacks his joints so he has difficulties in walking/movements. but he still attended church despite his pain! how worse is my period cramp compared to his! and yet after service he spoke ever so cheerfully to me and advised me not to eat biscuit and maggi mee for dinner. hahaha. clarence is also my guitar teacher, my cell group leader and a really good friend.. i feel sad for him but i know he will pull it through!

to be judged.. one thing expected.

good night. need to do some groceries shopping tomorrow.

saturday night

It was a personal diary. The Bible not only reveals God's words and thoughts, but His feelings too. For it breaks His Heart for what breaks us.

John 11:35

Jesus wept.

need some sparks !

Thursday, July 16

push push push push push push push push push push push push push !

i feel a surge of peacefulness. take it slow? how much time do i have?

Wednesday, July 15

hmmm. woo hooo! blood test came out clear but platelet count was slightly elevated, prolly due to the fever week before. anyways, glad to know nth's wrong .. but .. how come i keep getting dyspnea? psychogenic dyspnea? hmmm.

Tuesday, July 14

lan for guan

stop picking on mr. big size. argh ! i wish i can tell them off. why are people so size bias? when you see fat girls skipping meals and you go "oh, good for them! finally doing some justice to their body" and when you see somewhat skinny ones skipping meals you go "wei.. why are you not eating.. no appetite.. not good.. must eat" like what the peck you think fat people are immortals can live without food do not deserve to eat is it???! i am very lan for guan lor, sibeh lan for guan. i am 164 cm tall and i weigh 53 kg 116 pounds to be exact i am not overweight or anything but i still get teased by my collegues every now and then.. lol i think if i get any bigger i must go and kill myself already due to the constant pressure to not to eat. so pathetic eh? and i hate those movies and tv shows that potray how an ugly ducking with thick rimmed glasses and braces with fuzzy hair and slightly overweight turns 'beautiful' after she lost weight, replaced her glasses with contact lense, removed her braces, etc.. like what the heck is wrong with wearing glasses and braces?? maybe they can do something about the hair or dressing.. stupid movies.. stupid media. something like 300pounds beauty.. i hate the fact that i was once tempted to consider plastic surgery because of that movie.. that's my identity.. will not trade it for the sake of pleasing some vain danglers or to seduce my oh-so-leng zai boss..i have gone from fat to skinny to anorexic to medium and to the present me (which is considered fat to some people) lol.. and i realise when i lose weight i also lose a tiny portion of my gray matter.. fudge lah.. over my dead body to become 45kg again.

laugh out loud. feels good to rant once in a while. solely my opinions.

it's getting harder and harder each day to not to expect things and of others. hmmm.