i doubt.. i always have the same doubt.......... over and over again. why do i weep and weep and weep? gland tumour? why do i tremble? another episode of seizure? why does my heart ache? MI?? what is it??????? i am diseased everywhere.

because You made me.

and You touched my heart.

You love me.

and in Your presence, i weep. i tremble. i long. ...i am diseased to some, occasionally in my very own opinion..

but i will never quit,

no.

i can't ..

hey, new beginning.

nothing.

apologising in advance. sorry if i am not being like a friend to a friend for the moment. you know, this exam thingy is taking a toll on me *watery eyes, staring down at the floor*. at this point i would have cursed the word shit many times already but don't see the point of doing that.. what for.. i guess i could destress in many other ways. like taking a cold shower at 4.25 a.m. urgh. got an invitation to attend UniFest, UCSI club party.. not really interested with party stuff etc.. But. few friends are performing, got special invitation to watch them live and yumcha session with the BAND members after the gig.. T.T but. it's on thursday! like seriously.........................................as much as i wanted to go i think i will also drown gaogao in guilt . T.T T.T cannot go...........................cannot go T.T kesian budak ni. kena baca buku. buku buku buku. mati i. i can take it. and i will make the most out of it.......................................... urgh. i feel sorry and don't feel sorry for myself.