why?

almost 8 months ago when i started driving on real roads, my mind was really of one that only focused on the road and how i should try to prevent mishaps..being paranoid even when the car was half a km away. i implied the 'no talking to me' rule because my brain could never process a thing other than driving. lol. fran was asking me about some maths once. lol. bout' the upside.., i actually built some muscles.. ha ha especially the shoulder. due to regular position tension? ha ha. i almost forgotten how is it being just a mere passenger and need not worry about driving. i fit a driver's shoe now, and the way i look out the window as a driver is ..urm, a little fee-ling-ful. lol. i feel a mixture of feelings. lol. in a good way. i need to learn how to take care of my car now, another serious responsibility. but i am trying and i thank God for His constant protection and remarkable saving work.

coming to the end of year 3 has certainly made me more 'seasoned' than a year ago. ha ha. i used that word 2 years ago. ha ha. it's a different seasoning this time. i am not as emotional as i used to be even though i expect much more than before. they say when you expect more, you get hurt easily? so quit expecting. no you don't. there is always an expectation. because i care. because you care. as long as your heart is beating, there is always an expectation. but there are exceptions which we will learn. that i learned.

i was humbled too.. i have a pride,.. which i need not.. i could have succeeded on my own but without God, the crown is perishable.

i realised i can still sleep more than 15 hours even at this age. ha ha.

the end.

You will keep those in faith, i believe. Japan's been hit, Lord i pray for Your mercy and relief over that country. i think many things will come to pass soon. let my heart matters what that matters.

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i had a difficulty yesterday out of my own carelessness. a.g.a.i.n. lol. But you know, the Lord sent help. yesterday, i locked myself out of the car at the hospital when i was supposed to clerk a patient at the clinic. definitely racing against time as the clinic closes at 6 p.m. and it was almost 5 p.m. panicky. called the 'lock man' hey and he wanted to charge me rm50. fran managed to bargain to rm40. out of the blue while clerking i told the patient's mum about my problem and she said her husband could help. so we waited. her husband came and tried to help us, but in the midst of trying what seemingly not working, a chinese uncle came suddenly, asked a two-worded question,a three-worded question, then another two-worded question, did some magic with the stick and 'tak' my car was free. i thanked him, he smiled a little and walked away, disappeared. i wondered where did he go. in my mind, i was half thankful, half worried, a quarter humoured.

back at the clinic, i managed to talk to the whole family of four. and completed my physical examination on the child as well. lol. they were quite impressively friendly that we spent more time talking then me clerking. and they are apparently quite familiar with ucsi students. lol. it was an eventful night. and i learned a lot about my case too. the presentation this morning was ok.

i thank God. i am speechless. it was all too much of a coincidence. and this morning was a pleasant surprise. *blushed* but i am reminded again that it's God's granted favor. but it made my day. juts want to share a simple story after so long. ahaha. eop is coming. i am going to miss paeds.

a sentence being written as a two-liner differs a lot in meaning from it being written as part of a paragraph. huh .. i have stood for a while now, i just want to sit.

You will see me through.. Father.

they say dream is a form of escapism for the overloaded mind. having said that, i think i am having retrograde amnesia. what's with the ancient dream? and nothing of the present! ouh, and i dreamt of eating minced pork noodle in dark sauce, must have been hungry. that tasted good though. when i woke up, somebody served me spaghetti in tomato sauce with mushroom and chicken. that was gOOd too. a big thank you. so yeah, about the dream... i dreamt of nic and nian. so weird. and we were in the arcade playing car racing. but nic was not talking to me and i could only hear her laughter. i joined in the race too. dengan pro-nya, sejak bila ya. lol. and nian like usual, blur at the back, laughed till cannot see eyes. i don't know what was he doing in my dream. after that, we went for noodle at sam kok dei. yooo, i remembered the taste. even after like 10 years... ahaha. i was left feeling deprived after waking up to a phone call. i have not yet finished eatingggggggg grrr. ahaha. but it was fine, there was real spaghetti waiting. ahaha. sweet. praise God and thank you. it's a dinner dream. and i am not studying................... lol.

kusut !